"Strange. That's the word for it." So says ex-Royal Navy stoker Hardy, now driver of the electric train that plies the Littlehampton seafront, 80p each way. A bingo-winged passenger agrees: "Jolly beautiful, though - and good for the borough."
Thomas Heatherwick is a modern English free-thinking designer in the old-fashioned vein. He has gained renown for designs that cunningly combine the bleeding obvious with the outright inspired. His clients, the Murray family, live in Littlehampton, a pleasant, old-fashioned Sussex town-next-the-sea that was, until now, famous for not all that much. Now the two have come together to bring us the mould-breaking East Beach Cafe that's strange to some, striking to most, and the blueprint of coastal cafes to come, both in terms of cuisine and architecture.
After the showier charms of neigbouring Arundel and Bognor Regis, Littlehampton is a modestly prim, fruit-on-the-sideboard-and-nobody-ill-in-the-house sort of place. The wind carries a bright iodised tang; there are primary-coloured beach huts; the beach is mostly big stones and cracked shells; and - oh yes - there are seaman Hardy's 10-minute sea-front train trips.
The road into town swings you past perfectly nice homes of no single architectural style: arts and crafts, Tudorbethan, Edwardian masquerading as Victorian, 1980s bland brick. Where better than here to build a stretched, rippled, sharp-and-smooth, oxidised steel structure? Seen from the car park behind, East Beach Cafe seems initially to have been shorn from the walls of a New Mexico canyon. Adobe-brown, sculptural and arresting, it is, in the Great British tradition, carefully ignored by the caravanners and day-trippers paying and displaying.
Climb the few steps to one side, and there's a Teas For The Beach servery tacked on to one end and a spare, decked terrace, sheltered by an L-shaped perspex windbreak. There is a queue for the cafe. From the minute you walk in, you know that East Beach is not just right-on and right now, but smells right, looks right and feels right. The punters are determinedly non-trendy — last Tuesday lunchtime the place was packed with a crowd of all ages, incomes and styles. There was also none of the smug metro attitude that often accompanies smart new openings as everyone was too busy enjoying the food, drink and view.
East Beach Cafe's menu achieves the smart trick of keeping everyone happy. There are bacon butties with good local bacon and good local bread. Buttered field mushrooms on toast for those mornings when you need comforting. Fish and chips, of the impeccably fresh and crisply executed kind. Bowls of mussels and big juicy burgers. Dover sole with caramelised endives if you're feeling posh. Muesli for brunch, Pinot Grigio for lunch, Pimms for sunsets. Dark and Stormy - demerera rum and ginger beer cocktails - for when it's, you know, dark and stormy.
The place opened less than a month ago, the kitchen's already on song, and the room, which feels like sitting inside a light-filled seashell, is delightful. The only thing that's strange is that there aren't already hundreds of East Beach Cafes to brighten our coastline and breathe fresh life into our Ryanair-depleted resorts.
As the credit crunch forces many of us to forego foreign breaks, this new resort could not have come at a better time. It has 200 stylish rooms, a modern restaurant and bar, plus an ultra-luxe spa.
It follows the success of the Shoreline Hotel, which opened at Bognor in 2007 and has been a huge hit. The Ocean takes the chic-on-the-cheap concept even further, with accommodation that is perfect for families.
All rooms have funky colour-change lighting in a floor-to-ceiling headboard behind the double bed, plus flat-screen TVs, squishy modern chairs and floor-to-ceiling windows.
More than 75 per cent of them have private balconies overlooking the award-winning beach or rolling South Downs.
In family rooms, a separate kids' den has another flat-screen TV and two full-size single beds with blue glowlighting. Many family rooms also have a sofabed.
Other treats at the hotel include room service and a family-friendly restaurant and coffee bar. It's pricier than Butlins' traditional self-catering apartments - but great value.
A room for two adults, and two kids aged two to 14, with South Downs views, for seven nights this summer, is from £1,120. That's based on Butlins' Schools Out summer deal, from August 21.
Camp revamp ... Butlins' stylish new Ocean Hotel
The same room for three nights at October half-term is just £408. And the full-on facilities of Butlins are a few minutes' walk from the hotel.
New for 2009 are live shows from Looney Tunes characters, from May half-term onward. At the Urban Academy teenagers can learn breakdancing, street-dancing, beat-boxing or Cheerleading, the latest keep-fit craze from New York.
And the High Ropes Aerial Trekking Course was such a hit at Butlins' Minehead resort last year that it is being introduced at Bognor in 2009.
Butlins boss Richard Bates told me this week: "The modern-era Butlins is a unique mix of quality accommodation and entertainment that guests love.
"And 97 per cent say we offer brilliant value for money. With the amount of choice on offer this is going to be the year to be here."
The next day, which was Friday, we spent another nice day exploring Littlehampton town centre and harbour and spent some time on the beach. We had another nice fish and chip lunch outdoors by the harbour and the cod was up to its usual wonderful standard.
Arundel
On the Saturday we went for a day trip to Arundel which is only about a ten minute drive from Littlehampton. Here we enjoyed browsing round a large antique and second-hand shop, a wonderful bookshop on four floors and a shop selling artistic prints and copperplate etchings. We bought 2 fine copperplate etchings of ships for which we got a good discount. We then had chocolate fudge cake and coffee in a medium sized coffee shop which was absolutely delicious. There was an open air festival going on for the day in Arundel so we also enjoyed some live rock music and watching jugglers in action in the High Street. Arundel is a beautiful West Sussex town which is well worth a visit. For those who haven't been there before there is a large castle and a cathedral which are interesting to visit.
Arundel Castle viewed from the River Arun
Arundel Cathedral
Sadly, on the Sunday we had to return home from Littlehampton. However, we made the most of our holiday by travelling inland via the beautiful Bury Hill through Petworth to visit some relatives in Woking. We stopped for a short while in Petworth and then continued on our leisurely journey along the A283, admiring the beauty of the West Sussex and Surrey countryside and small towns and villages en route.
Bury Hill, West Sussex
Petworth
Although I said it was sad to leave Littlehampton, it is always pleasant to return home after a time away, even if it was a relatively short holiday. I hope to write my next posting 'from the trees' as usual.